University Opening

One of the interesting things about working at the library at UAE University is that at the beginning of the school year, the official ceremonial opening actually takes place at the library, in the large auditorium.



Each year, Sheikh Nahayan, the Minister of Higher Education and Scientific Research, as well as Chancellor of the UAE University (among other things; more here), comes to give his opening address, and the red carpet is literally rolled out. I have to admit, to me, some of the preparations seem more than a little overboard. This year, the library had this decoration built for his visit:



As you can see, there are pictures of Sheikh Nahayan and Sheikh Khalifa at each end:



So a day or so after this ceremony this year, one of my co-workers was telling about a news report that he had seen from Australia. Apparently John Howard, the Aussie Prime Minister, was touring somewhere. One the tour, he was introduced to a man that refused to shake the prime minister's hand because he didn't like Mr. Howard and his policies. To my co-worker, this seemed quite surprising, but to me seems quite normal. I know that Americans treat our leaders with much less respect than is done here.

Last thoughts on differences for a while

One of the things that Americans asked me about moving here was what it was like for women. Can they drive? Do all women have to cover their hair, their face? Would Bss have to walk behind me? (The answers are yes, no, no, and no). Women are allowed to drive and encouraged to attend school and work. (The university's student population is about 75% female.) Everyone, male and female, is expected to dress modestly.

But things are different here, and in a way that a lot of people would probably think are unfair. For example, men are allowed to have more than one wife at a time, and it is much easier for a man to divorce his wife than vice-versa.

But this is only seeing this from one side. While I was in the process of applying for this job, I read Writing Off the Beaten Track by Judith Caesar. She taught writing at the American University of Sharjah. She tells about some conversations that she had with her students about women's status in the Middle East and the West, including this one:

I thought about what a Saudi graduate student I knew in the United States had told his wife when she wanted to return to Saudi Arabia by herself. Away from her family for the first time in her life and knowing no English, she was lonely and miserable. The only other Arabic-speaking woman in the small town was an Egyptian graduate student who snubbed her, and it wasn't proper for her to talk to men. She didn't know how to drive and her husband wouldn't t teach her, so she was stuck in their small apartment all day with no one to talk to. Of course she wanted to go home.

"Go ahead and go home," her husband told her. "I can get an American girlfriend to come and live with me. She'll sleep with me and take care of the house and she'll be grateful if I don't ask her to pay half the rent. I can throw her out whenever I want and there's nothing she can do about it. The police aren't going to arrest me for living with a woman I'm not married to. Her parents aren't going to complain if I live with her and then kick her out. Women don't have any rights here and their families don't protect them. So go home if you want to. I'll have a good time." And unfortunately, he was probably right. I knew of several women graduate students who stayed with abusive boyfriends in part because they couldn't afford places of their own. There probably were many American women who would move in with a married man whose wife was away, especially if he were financially generous, as this man could afford to be. To both students, it was the American society, not their own, that abused and exploited women. Was the image of Arab misogyny really a way of avoiding an examination of the extent to which our society is patriarchal and misogynist? Certainly, American women usually had choices that many Arab women did not, and yet there was truth in what the Arab graduate students had said. Without financial security, a woman's choices are limited no matter where she lives, and without emotional security, it can be hard to make choices that are not self-destructive.

It was good to keep this in mind, but more important to remind myself that just as their view of the status of women in American society was incomplete, so was my view and perhaps any westerner's view of the status of women in Arab societies...
(pp 127-8)

I think that this struck home with me because I want my daughter to be able to do whatever she wants, even if it is being an "astronaut veterinarian ballerina" as she told me at age four. But at the same time, I worry about her being respected and protected in a way that I don't worry about my sons.

I only know that I don't understand everything about the status of women here yet. I'm sure as I learn more, there will be things I'll like, things I won't, and things I won't understand. I just want to make sure that I understand before I decide.

More Thoughts on Differences

I wanted to follow up on my post about the differences here, and thank everyone who commented on and linked to it.

As I think more about it, is seems that there are three basic types of differences:

1. Completely irrelevant: The best example I can think of is which side of the road you drive on. As long as everyone does the same thing, it doesn't matter.
2. Things were there is an absolutely right or wrong: For example, American culture improved when we banned slavery.
3. Things that have two sides. These things have to been seen from both sides to be understood, because they involve two competing interests.

Take the issue that Mohammad brought up in the comments to that post, about the differing treatment of nationals and various expats. You have two competing principles, one that says that everyone should be treated the same, and another that there should be some rights that only citizens have. An easy example is that in the US, where only citizens can vote. The UAE seems to drawn the line between these balancing interests closer to the "more rights for citizens" end of the spectrum than the "everyone treated the same" end. Some of these are written law, and some are unofficial but widely known.

Mohammad's example:

There are many situations where foreigners (I mean Persians, Indians, Asians and not Westerners)dont get "enough" respect. There are many examples of those cases that i can mention. But one of the good ones is waiting in queues. I remember when I was doing my Driving License test. I waited in the line for 1 hour and out of no where a local comes and takes the test before me. I went to the manager of the Emirates Driving Institute and told him and his reply was very simple "He is local".

A couple of other examples: I have also heard from other expats who have been here for some time that if a car accident involves a national and an expat, the expat will be blamed, even if by objective standards he was blameless. Another example I have heard is that nationals pay less per kilowatt hour for electricity.

I don't know if these differences are cultural, simply a reaction to the overwhelming preponderance of expats here, or some combination of the two. But since some in America (I'm looking at you Pat Buchanan) want to limit immigration and make English the official language because of what they perceive as too much Hispanic immigration, I have been asking myself how I would react if I suddenly found myself feeling like a stranger in my own country.

The other aspect of Mohammad's story, about how non-Westerners are treated, also raises a question. As a Westerner, it makes me uncomfortable when I am helped/waited on/served before others, but I don't know that I can do anything about it. How do any of the rest of you handle these situations?

[Added on Saturday night]
Also, I would recommend reading the link that uaeyah included in the comments to the first post.

Differences

A friend of mine asked me to tell him what the biggest cultural differences between the US and the UAE are. I read so much about the UAE before I came, I'm sure that some of the difference aren't standing out to me anymore, but these are some of the biggest differences I've noticed so far. Please note that I am just making observations of what I have seen and do not mean any criticism. I do not believe that it is polite for a guest, which is what I am, to come into a home and criticize his host.

1. Separation of the Sexes.
Actually, this isn't as pronounced as I thought it would be, but it is still a lot more than in the US. For example, the library has hours for the the male students and hours for the female students, and likewise a male campus and a female campus. The university student population is overwhelmingly female (about 75%, if I remember correctly).

Outside of the university, the separation also occurs. The male population of Al Ain is much larger than the female, because so many of the laborers (who make up most of the population) do not make enough to bring their families with them. So if you go out and walk around downtown in the evenings, there are very few women. It is only in the more upscale places like the malls that the ratio evens out. But even there, the groups of young people are segregated by gender, and you don't see young couples out together as you would at any mall in America.

2. Disparities of wealth.
Many complain about the wealth gap between the rich and poor in America. That is nothing compared to here. The university has very graciously provided me with this huge house and a very generous salary and benefits. In this same neighborhood there are people making very little money and living in very cramped quarters.

3. Different manners
This is definately one of those "it's not wrong, it is just different" areas. People here have much more formal manners, especially for greeting, than Americans. I hope that my co-workers do not think me rude because I do not always stop to greet them as I pass. People I do not know (shopkeepers, for example), will offer me a seat and tea or coffee, ask how I am, how my family is, how I like Al Ain, and on and on.

But, on the other hand, there is the absence of the idea of line forming and respecting the idea of "first come, first served". People will walk up to a counter and demand service. I have also been waited on before Asians who have been waiting longer, I'm guessing because I'm a Westerner. Which brings me to...

4. Class and Servants
There are big divides in class here. Like I said, I have been bumped up to the head of lines because I'm a Westerner. There are also a lot of people here doing jobs that can really only fairly be described as servant level jobs.

As an American, I am not used to people refusing (and I mean refusing) to let me push my own shopping cart out of the store, or bathroom attendants at the mall insisting on holding my bags while I use the facilities or getting paper towels for me while I wash my hands. I know that these people are here willingly, that they make more money here than they can at home, that they support their families. But it is different.

5. Pictures of Sheikh Zayed and Sheikh Khalifa
It is a small thing, but in America there are not huge pictures of President Bush hanging everywhere. Here you see pictures of the current president, Sheikh Khalifa, and his father and former president, Sheikh Zayed everywhere: the mall, university, stores, you name it. I have wondered where these pictures come from since I have never seen any for sale, though. If anyone deserved this treatment though, it would have to be Sheikh Zayed. He led the UAE from its founding until his death last November. You can read more about this incredible man here, if you are interested. (Note, I'm not saying Sheikh Khalifa doesn't deserve this treatment too, I just don't know that much about him yet.)

6. Openness of Faith
This is the biggest difference of all, which is why I saved it for last. When someone asks how you are, the response is (please forgive all my horrible transliterations) illhamdulallah, or "thanks be to God". Now, in America, if someone asks how you are outside of church (and probably even there in a lot of churches) and you answer, "well, praise be to God", you are going to get a reputation as a person to be avoided. When I tell people in America that I have four kids, I most often get a reaction that suggests that there is something wrong with me. Here, it is "mashallah" (roughly "a blessing from God"). The call to prayer, which sounds throughout the day, from 4:00 AM until after 8:00 PM, sounds everywhere throughout the city. It never sounds the same, but it is always beautiful and moving, even though I only know what just a few of the words mean. I have never been made to feel uncomfortable as a Christian here; people have been more than willing to answer questions and exchange views about differences.

[Added on Tuesday ]
Several interesting responses in the comments, so check there for more.